MEN!!

Well here I’m back(where the hell did went at first place?). u must be thinking Now what? Well that’s a good question. Actually when I wrote an article about ‘women’ I never thought that I would draw such a huge criticism on what I wrote. Almost everyone said that it was simply rubbish, I was way too one-sided and biased, because one of the good qualities of a good writer is that he should be neutral writing about both sides of the picture. Can u imagine even some ‘women’ association staged a protest in front of my house and demanded that I should immediately show the other side of the picture as well because I have hurt a lot of people’s feelings. Even in my own house my sister was about to break my head. OK I accept my fault I shouldn’t have been that biased and by having a big heart(well not the real one) I should have written the other side as well. I stand guilty and as now to make up for what I did I have decided to write about the other side of the picture(hey I’m not talking about description of some picture, it has just one side). Although before taking this decision when my friends came to know about it they told me in a straightway, “Salman, u r not going to do this!!!”. But my conscience was forcing me to go ahead so at last I decided to take off this burden of guilt from my conscience and I have tried to show whole of the other side but still if I’m not able to fully justify what I m writing I ask forgiveness from all of u. OK so lets start………..

Firstly let me clarify few things in the beginning that why did I wrote what I wrote? Actually the whole story behind this is that we boys(so called men) are totally desperate about girls. Accept it or not but we don’t have anything else to do in this world. We are always talking about them no matter where we are, whatever the time is, whatever the gathering is, it may be college, restaurant, phone, dreams, after being struck off from the college or when we fail in the exams…… we just talk about GIRLS. It is a harsh reality but we have to face it. U can’t deny the truth simply by turning your face away from it. We can’t hide our faces in the sand like an ostrich. For us our one and only aim in life if girls. We are always after them; whether its some sort of a concert u can see us standing everywhere just to ogle at them and chasing them everywhere they go so that if our luck is shining they might talk to us(which they most of time don’t); then u might take girls colleges I mean you’ll see more boys around girls colleges than girls and if u at that time look at our face its just that of a beaten dog with his tongue out because of the heat thinking that they come to colleges because of us. Most of the time instead of our own college we are found in front of some girl’s college (as if the college authorities are waiting for us to give admission to us in their college) and then as expected at the end of the term our attendance fall short of even minimum requirement but if they count the hours we spent in front of girl’s colleges not only our attendance will be full but it will even go into over time. Then if some girl just in fun say HI to us we consider ourselves as the most lucky person on the earth(as if she has asked us to marry her), our mind goes round and round, heart starts coming out of the mouth, eyes start seeing weird things, we get 106 C temp, we start jumping up and down like a frog( see each of our characteristics belongs to some animal)and then when at very next moment we hear BYE everything comes to normal, we are always rejected and because of our self-inflated ego and pride(btw we have nothing to be proud of) we start thinking of taking revenge as after that innocent girl after doing so many promises with us have backed off her words. And when we find no way to take revenge then we start writing articles against them. Now u see why did I wrote that …………OK so now leave this reason now lets see some facts.

Firstly I wrote that how in the world can I write about this creature when 15 billion years have passed since this universe was created and intellectuals and scientists like Aristotle, Pluto, Socrates, Newton, Shakespeare, Einstein, our very own genius Bill Gates and the list goes on and on, passed away(hey Bill Gates is still alive don’t worry) but couldn’t explain about this creature. Well ‘Mr. Salman u r rite’, no1 has ever been able to write about ‘women’. Have u ever thought why? Actually Mr. Salman you haven’t and the reason is that how can these all so called intellectuals and scientists can describe something that is even above their Mental level. I mean we just can describe things that our little mind can understand and ‘women’ can’t come in our little mind because they are way too superior in every aspect of life from us. So stop writing about things that u can’t understand.

Then I gave one of the most absurd examples to prove nothing. Yeah my love well there are few things I would like to point out. Firstly think about one thing that why every stupid thing happened to me like mind going topsy turvy when I fell in love with her Why not her? Why not her heart started beating faster? Why not her mind stopped working? Well the answer is very simple because, for her it was not a very big thing. Why should these things have happened to her when she was loving a much lower person than her(it was just her greatness that she loved me). Now tell me one thing that what did I meant by bringing sun from sky? I mean is she had simply asked about stars than why the hell couldn’t I have replied that instead of saying that silly thing which we all boys are used to. And yeah beauty is to be praised so I was not doing a big job by praising her. Then my God can u believe “me giving a deodorant to her”? just imagine how selfish, insensitive, rude, disrespectful I was being by giving her a deodorant I mean did she ever gave me a tooth brush despite my those stinky, yellow, ugly teethes.  ? No she never did because she knew that it will hurt me but I didn’t had that much mind to think!!!

OK so we think that we are much better than old men are more superior than girls then just tell me one thing why did every old love story had the ‘women’ sacrificing their lives, doing everything for the ‘men’? just because they deserved it we DON’T. Take the examples of Heer Ranjha or Sohni Mahiwal. Now we are at such a stage that u can see everyday in the newspapers some dejected lover doing suicide or killing someone, never would u have seen a news in which the girl did it because we are not worth it!!!!

Then the most funniest argument that girls follow us, they do what we do, wear clothes like us, and what not well what about us who have even longer hairs than girls having ‘ponies’ and we ourselves taking them as girls from far and then don’t we wear tops in our ears?

Then “a woman remains quite just once in her life”, well at least they remain quite once in their life we don’t even……. And then they have many other things in the world to talk about not like us always talking about them, “wow, she is beautiful”, “man, does she like me?”, “will she say yes?”, “man she looked at me!!!!!” and what not. These comments just go on and on and then we are the one who are always praising them and writing poems and what not for them, then don’t.

So now lets come to Adam and Eve and with all due respect to Adam I just can’t understand one thing why always we have to ask everything from ‘women’? don’t we have our own brains? Or are they way too scanty to use them? Then the creation argument well I was right when I wrote what God said after creating men and women but now let me explain something firstly when men were created first then why were ‘women’ created? Weren’t we the so called superior creatures enough? God created ‘women’ because of two reasons firstly because men himself asked for them and secondly God was also not satisfied with what He had created so He created “Women” and now those two sentences well actually they were like it but they aren’t complete. Let me complete them for u, after creating men, “a good job done, but the result isn’t that good” and after creating women, “Oh! What have I done? They are superb. How will such a superior creature manage with men?”

So now I think that after seeing the other side of the picture as well we will have to accept that women are much superior creature than us because it has been proven scientifically, intellectually and religiously.

P.S: this too was written during my zamana-e-jahliat so I simply dont agree wid it!!:P